New Beginnings

My dear Amma,

Thursday brought a huge change to my life. I lost my job! Soon after I had mailed my last letter to you, my boss called me in and told me that he had thought about it a lot, and felt they did not need my full time services any more. I felt strangely relieved and happy. Teaching is not my forte, I have realised and the work, although paying me very good money, was not one that came from my heart.

Amma, it never struck me to look for another job. It feels to me that you have given me something to do. And though it did'nt strike me at the time, I realise ( after my love told me) that you have also given me money to keep me going for the next few months. So in truth, you have given me work and told me to get going.

I know you are telling me to write. I have not written much at any time in my life, and it's difficult now for me to know what writing I would be good at. Fiction? I'm not much of a story teller and am not particularly imaginative. Non fiction, then. Well, what kind? Self help? Telling other people how to live their lives is not something I'm qualified to do. What else is there, Amma? My life these last two years ? Hmm. My love and his life? That's something I feel I should do a little later.

I'm feeling a bit blank, Amma. I'm trying hard to think of something. Please help me with ideas. It's been so long since I used my brains, they have rusted quite a lot. I need you to help me crank up and get going.

I feel very excited at the prospect of this work, Amma. Scared and excited. It feels like the beginning of a completely new life. Thank you, Amma. I know I need to work very hard to do what you have asked me to. Please be with me through every moment of it.

Thank you for all your love and blessings and support, dear Amma. I really don't know what would have happened to me without your love and care. Knowing you are there with me makes me feel so loved,protected and safe.

With love and gratitude always from your loving daughter,

Vidya