'I'

My dear Amma,

The word 'I' is all over my writing, my speech and my thoughts. In all that I write that word seems to have pride of place.It's been catching my eye ever since I began this blog and it makes me squirm everytime I use it.

Is this representative of how egoistic I am? That's how it seems to me.Amma, I don't seem to know how to frame sentences or how to say anything at all without that dreaded word being involved. It frightens me, the extent to which my world is dominated by that one person 'I', surely no more and no less important than any other human being.

If that word dominates my writing so much, it seems a safe bet that it is at least as dominant in my thoughts.No wonder that everything I say and do is for my own satisfaction and fulfilment, and the happiness of other people, even the ones I love, is secondary to my own.

It is said that the way to overcome the ego is to stop using the word 'I' and to use the words 'you' and 'we' instead. Amma,if that is indeed the way, teach me how to do that. To stop focussing on myself always and treat every living creature with love, respect and consideration.

Someone very dear to me, once told me that I saw him as an object, instead of as a real person. That made no sense to me at all at the time, but it is beginning to now.Only I am real in my world and everyone else is there to play the roles that I require of them. When they do, I am content; when they do not, I am either angry or sad.

Amma, please guide me out of this truly horrifying 'I' trap. Let me be but one of your children along with everyone else on this planet.


With love and gratitude Amma,

From your loving daughter,

Vidya