My dear Amma,
Yesterday, my dear friend asked me how I felt about some of the major issues in my life; whether I still felt guilty about certain things I had done, or fearful of the outcome of certain choices I had made.
I had to admit that I do occasionally feel pangs of guilt since what I am doing is unacceptable to society by and large. That clearly shows a lack of trust in you, Amma, since you have already told me very clearly, that this is the correct path for me.
That was the worst of all, Amma, because I have been trying to surrender to you totally. I tell you when I pray, and myself at other times, that I have surrendered to you totally. If that were true, Amma, I know there would be no fears and no guilt.
My friend then mentioned that some of the things that he does, make him unhappy; but he does them without question, because you have told him to. And suddenly it all became very clear to me; it does'nt matter if my mind experiences fear and guilt. All I need to do is consistently follow the path you have indicated, regardless of what my conditioning and my egoistic mind make me think and believe are right.
Trust will naturally begin to grow and fears to drop away. All this while, I have prayed and recited the moola manthiram to help rid me of my fears and to be steadfast; yesterday you taught me yet another path. Please help me be steady in following that path, Amma.
Thank you so much Amma, for all your love and the strength you give me always.
With love and gratitude from your loving daughter,
Vidya
Only those who knows how to take a deep breath and dive in deep seas will get the precious pearls. Of course, it is tough. Imagine how many of us could possibly do this? Because everyone thinks its tough for them and Amma thinks its easy for you. Give it out a try Vidya perhaps, there are still many more precious things yet to be found in deep seas by you. God bless.
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